No Children

No Children - The Mountain Goats

I hope that our few remaining friends
give up on trying to save us.
I hope we come out with a fail-safe plot
to piss off the dumb few that forgave us.

I hope the fences we mended
fall down beneath their own weight.
And I hope we hang on past the last exit,
I hope it's already too late.

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
someday burns down.
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away,
and I never come back to this town again.

In my life, I hope I lie,
and tell everyone you were a good wife.
And I hope you die,
I hope we both die.

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow;
I hope it bleeds all day long.
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises;
we're pretty sure they're all wrong.

I hope it stays dark forever,
I hope the worst isn't over.
And I hope you blink before I do,
and I hope I never get sober.

And I hope when you think of me years down the line,
you can't find one good thing to say.
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out,
you'd stay the hell out of my way.

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me,
hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die,
I hope we both die.

Poem

I found this poem on BME and liked it.. a lot. I would probably find some personal meaning in it if I'd lost someone close to me, but I'm glad to say I haven't, though I still do appreciate this immensly. Read it if you feel so inclined.

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!
There are a hundred places where I fear To go, – so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!
Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892–1950).

Re-cap

What have I been up to lately? Work mostly. Not so great, been four months, and I'm still not used to the whole "wake up and leave at five am" routine. I did some camping at kill bear, I don't remember if my last post was between trip there, or before I'd ever been. But I quite liked it, and want to go again. Do some more of the cliff jumping. I forget what the heights I jumped were. Something like: the chain 52', Some ledge deal across from chain 56', and suicide 48'? I don't know for sure, allI know is that suicide was my first jump there, and it was fun.
I've also been hanging out with Rachel a lot, which has been pretty rad. A lot of time spent at her place, which has been fun. Especially the last minute deceisions to crash at her house, just cause we either lose track of time, or I am to bagged to drive back home. Sucks that that won't happen nearly as much due to school. She helped me move out of the condo and into my parents place, so I've been there a lot, hanging around, watching movies, making meals. Good stuff. I went to the Georgetown fair the other day, pretty old school and ghetto, but overall fun times. I want to go back to Toronto sometime soon, and hit up Pogue Mahone, and the Eatons Cantre, since I didn't really go there for a last visit before I left. Maybe this weekend.

I really stopped caring about updating this, so I'm done, check these out:

No One Is Awake

I Guess I'm Floating

Skatterbrain

Good Weather For Airstrikes

The DIY Rockstar

Aurgasm

Music For Kids Who Can't Read Good

You Ain't No Picasso

Come Pick Me Up