i have a master plan

i have a master plan

so its well after noon and i just woke up and finished half a box of sugar crisp. i have a huge project due on monday that i havent started and im gunna have to kill the teacher. so im gunna write this down, and im gunna scream it out. stupid fucking guy with his gay accent and stupid project. gahh. alright,

is there something i havent said before? i feel like all of my stories are the same. about how im thinking of you again. i dont really know why, but the thoughts consume me. i remember the memories of what we've done, and im thinking and hoping about what may happen soon. instead of glances shared i'll get to hold you hand and kiss your beautiful lips. i can taste the alcohol on your breath. i have to confess that i like it. is this actually happening? or did i get lost in my thoughts again? am i lying to my self again? these glances we've shared are just that, glances. the dreams and false hopes help to get me through this. why can i not get the nerves to talk to you, to make this happen? am i afraid of those beautiful lips, and the heartache they could create in me? god, i hate your lips, i hate that i never heard your words of approval coming from them, i hate that i never got to taste them. i hate that i didnt let that happen. i hate me.